She is all running running and running
In the four wall of concrete
Where there’s no escape
And she is all chained and caged
Imprisoned in her own soul
Her thoughts, deadly and bizzare
Mind of her is running wild
She is lost in the world of panic and pain
She is smaking the walls
And she is thrashing it hard
Screaming the loudest cry
She is Wailing out the anguish that she’s wearing inside
Hollowed eyes bleeding the pain
With her tangled lips and vacant face
Scratching herself to bleed
Pushing herself hard
She’s trying to escape and break the walls
There’s the ocean of darkness
The shadow of ravage man
Whom the girl is running to escape
In painful world of her end
Call it nightmares or unwelcomed memories
You won’t understand what it feels like
When you’re Drowning in the ocean of darkness
That is so immoral and evil
She Lived thousand terrible version of her
And Every version of her is drowned in fear of her own
She failed to where to draw the line
As every version of her has a dreadful truth sunk
This seems like a horror struck story
Yeah that’s what people would call it
Or define her as a stupid psychopath
I know people won’t understand
As they haven’t rewarded for other’s sins and Karma.
“Never show your weakness to the world because the world is very much interested to play with it.”
We are always advised to be careful for sharing our weakness, so that we can protect ourselves from getting hurt. We armour our weakness so that we can be strong. Don’t trust people so much, don’t be so close to anyone, don’t share your secrets; why so don’t???? Why to protect ourselves so much! Weakness is not something that we need to protect all our life. It is the strength that we have hidden so far inside us. Real strength is not about hiding your weaknesses or vulnerability. Real strength is to stand strong even after showing your weakness. To show your weaknesses is to show your true strength.
I know to show our weakness to the world is not that good idea. Knowing we are vulnerable, people will attack us for seeing who we really are. And now since we don’t have any defence masks on, we cannot save ourselves from breaking down. The outcomes aren’t comfortable, the pain and struggle aren’t sweet. The intensity of emotions breaks and it’s hurt like hell.
We human beings are always scared of defeats in our life and that’s why we fear to show our vulnerability. In fear of getting defeated, we start protecting us and building walls against our weakness because we know the inside us is unprepared and fragile and a single shot can break us into pieces. Since nobody wants to get defeated and we all want to stay strong and valiant, so we keep ourselves away from the battle of vulnerability and never put down those defence masks from us.
But the problem is that until and unless we dont allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we cannot recognize who we really are. Revealing our fear, secrets or vulnerability doesn’t mean we are allowing people to hurt us or cause damage or we are weak instead, we are revealing ourself to the truth and courage that is stuck inside our weakness. The agony and anguish that we have hold so far to armour ourselves is actually destroying us. And when we let go of everything of us, we are reborn. This new we is free of any fear or insecurities or weakness. There is only strength that remains inside us. And this new you in us is the real you of us. We allow ourselves to face our fear and disappointments and the vulnerability becomes the real treasure of courage in us that actually empowers us.
So why to cage yourself and lose the real you. Its better to face your vulnerability and let yourself break down because in the end, this vulnerability reveal yourself to the inner you and becomes the greatest source of your strength. What’s life you couldn’t accept yourself or scared of being you ! So star armourning the real you which have been caged so far and breathe feel of your being you.
I want to cry out loud but nothing coming out of my eyes. I want scream out loud but my mouth is filled with silence . I am drowning inside myself and I couldn’t save myself.
I don’t know myself anymore. Who am l? This is not me. I couldn’t recognize myself anymore. Why is this happening? Why? I don’t deserve this but still the worst part is I couldn’t even help myself. This is so bad. Am I so bad? Why there is no stop?I feel shattered. I feel like this is my end and the battle I was fighting for so long, finally I have lost it. I couldn’t even describe those feelings. I don’t have words to write it down. These feelings are beyond my words and I’ve finally given up.
I couldn’t hold on anymore. I tried to let go of everything and that everything took away me from myself. I feel so empty and nothing.I don’t want to go through this pain. I don’t want this healing journey. I am tired and done. I want to end this all and want to be free. It’s very difficult to go through and too much.I thought I can fight with this but not anymore. I don’t want myself anymore.
Stop….stop….stop!!!!!! Her heart was screaming hard with her silenced mouth but he didnt. He keeps pounding her tearing her soul apart. Shocked and traumatized she didnt even know what just happened!! What was that???? Being tormented and torn apart the little soul died. What to do??? Whom to say??? Everthing freezed around her.Everything became dark and the darkness never freed her. Not once,twice or thrice, it continued for months and months. She never told anyone anything and her silence became her little dirty secret. The little soul lost herself in the hands of that debaucher and get her innocence killed. The light inside her withered away and vanished. The darkness grew more and more and took her to the its world where she never belonged to. Everything she was going through was completely wrong. She was too young to deal with the pain. Everytime she went to learn, she gained knowledge of depriving herself of her own existence. All she wanted was to ran away. Everytime was excruciatingly painful and her soul couldnt take it anymore. She was searching ways to escape and luckily one day she got out of that nightmare. But still darkness never left her soul. The shame, guilt, fear still lived inside her. She locked herself in her loneliness and pain. Hard to breathe and survive, she lost her soul and the will to live disappeared forever. Fighting battle within herself, she lost the delight of her childhood. The innocence was snatched away and the carefree turned to despondent. Instead of enjoying the fragnance of life, she was forced to bear the pain of walking on the thorns.
But just like every storm runs out of rain, every darkest night has its end. She is born to be a warrior. She is the survivor. Life broke her but she never gave up. It was tough but she is tougher than that. With her broken pieces she kept walking and walking and walking. She faced her weakness and made it her strength. She never believed in herself but she believed that the dark clouds will soon fade away and the sunshine will bless her. And with this belief she rebuilt herself to find the light over the darkness of her soul. A little light was enough to make her soul shine.